Bissmillahi Rahmani Raheem,

Today I went up somewhere, up a mountain. I saw a forest from the top of the mountain and as it came closer and closer as we came down.. a thought dawned upon me...

My heart is just  like a forest and no less. Full of tall green luscious trees, very dense that shine with pride in the sunshine... BUT
the dense clusters of bright broad leaves prevent the sun from shining INSIDE the forest, hence it is all dark and dingy inside full of creepy crawlers and creatures that won't spare a second attacking you if you happened to venture inside..

How shameful. It is indeed the heart where Allah lives, which is actually not true, but we say that because it is the heart which Allah sees, the "ikhlaas", an attribute of the heart, based upon which we will be tested.

When I see this, I am so sure of my doom after I'm dust, that I might as well be burried and burnt now.. full of shameful and hateful emotions, thoughts and feelings, I am doomed.

May Allah give me inward and outward beauty and bless me with His love and Nearness, ameen.

Oh Allah I am astray, lead me to the right path and bestow upon me peace and tranquilty and courage which comes with Your obedience, ameen.